Hey, Jerry.
You might want to check this one out. Palomar just picked it up.
Look like some type of UFO and it's heading this way.
How many times do i have to tell you this.
UFOs don't exist and we are never gonna see...
Wow. It's energy signature is massive.
Holy Jesus, what do we do? No one ever told us what to do.
The only reason I took this job is cause you don't have to do anything.
Jerry, Stop it! We calculate its impact point.
Looks like.
Modesto, California.
Supenova: this is Red Dwarf. We actually have one.
Code Nimoy. I repeat Code Nimoy.
What are you guys doing here? It's 5 o'clock in the morning.
Hurry, turn on the TV. Turn it on now.
...and some early morning fog giving way to sunny skies.
75' F.
A perfect day to stop by the old folk garden craft show down at the fair grounds,
or a perfect day to marry Susan Murphy.
I love you baby.
I love you too.
And good morning Modesto...
Channel 172
You look gorgeous, sweetheart.
Thanks, mom.
Ah, my little girl.
¡Daddyi!
Now i want you to know that even though i'm about to give you away...
I'll always be here to take care of you.
Don't cry cause then you're gonna make me cry and this leaves me a mess.
I can't help me oh. I can't.
Hello, everyone. Attention attention. Wedding starts in 30 minutes.
My beautiful daughter in law.
- Hi, mama Dietl. - It's like a fairy tale.
The weatherman and the weatherman's wife.
- Oh, romantic. - Ah, I know.
Just think... This time tomorrow I'm gonna be in Paris,
and some day, we won't just be honeymo- oning there. Derek will become an anchor,
or a foreign correspondant and we'll travel all over the world.
Oh, honey, my fingers are crossed.
One thumb is shorter than the other. It runs in the family.
- Derek doesn't have that. - It skips a generation.
Your kids are gonna have it.
Wow. You look beautiful!
So do you... I mean, handsome. I mean...
Sorry, I'm just a little frazzled.
I just spent way too much time with our parents.
Don't worry, ok?
We'll be alone soon. Just us.
Hmmm... eating cheese and baguettes at the Sun.
Feeding each other chocolate crepes.
- Is something wrong? - No, it's just that...
There's been a slight change of plans.
We are not going to Paris.
What?
Why not?
Because we are going somewhere better.
Better than Paris?
- Oh, yeah. - Where?
- Tahiti? - Nope!
Fresno.
Fresno!
Fresno?
In what universe is... Fresno, better than Paris, Derek?
In the...
I got an audition to become channel 23's new evening anchor universe.
I got the call from the general manager.
He wants me to come inmediately. Isn't that great?
Derek.
That's...
amazing!
It's amazing. Fresno is like the top 50 markets, isn't it?
Actually it's 55th. But we are on our way, babe.
Now look about Paris...
Oh, it's ok... It's fine. As long as we are together,
Fresno is the most romantic city in the whole world.
I'm so proud of you.
Of us... Not just of me.
I mean, of course, but we are a team now. You are so proud of us.
Now get out of here. It's bad luck to see me in my dress.
Oh, come on! You know I don't believe in that stuff.
I'll be waiting for you at the altar.
The handsome news ancho in the tux, alright?
I love you. There, I said it.
I love you too.
Susan!
Where could she be?
Susan!
Where are you?
Susan. Where've you been?
I think I just go hit by a meteroid.
Oh, Susan... Every bride feels that way on her wedding day.
My goodness, look at you. You're all filthy.
Thank God I have wet wipes.
You are... glowing.
Thank you.
No, no Susan, you're like, really glowing. You're green.
Oh, no!
Derek.
No.
What's going on? What's happening here?
You are all shrinking!
- Na-ha, you are growing. - Well, make it stop.
Get me the goverment!
This is impossible.
No. This can't be happening.
Wait, wait, everybody. It's OK.
Have some champagne while we're figuring this out.
Thumbs! Thumbs!
Derek help me!
Here comes the bride.
Oh, Carl. It's her wedding day.
Derek! Derek!
Hurts. Damm it.
Hold your fire
What's been happening to me?
Don't panic, don't worry. Whatever you don, don't drop...
Derek!
Sorry sir
Who are you people?
What are you doing?
Stop it.
Be careful!
Get your hands off me. Don't you know who I am?
Please. Just leave me alone!
Move it, move it! Let's go, move it!
Derek!
Let's get this baby on the bus.
Honey, can you hit the snooze?
Baby why you set the alarm?
We are on honeymoon.
Hello?
What's going on?
Hello?
Quiet. She can hear us.
Hello?
Is there someone in there?
Could you please tell me where I am?
What was that?
Hello.
Eeeewwww!
Would you stop.
Be careful.
Please. Madam stop...
doing...
that...
Whatever mad scientist made you,
he really went all out.
You can... talk.
Hi there!
Argg, my back!
Just kidding. I don't have a back.
Forgive him, but as you can see he has no brain.
Turns out you don't need one.
Totally overated. As a matter of fact...
I don't even...
I forgot how to breath. I forgot how to breath.
Help me Dr Cockroach. Help!
Suck in Bob.
Thanks Doc. You are a lifesaver.
Wow, look at you. I know what you are thinking.
First day in prison, you wanna take out the toughest guy in the yard.
Well, I'd like to see you try...
Gosh. What?! She is speechless.
She?
Yes Bob. We are in the presence of the rare female monster.
No way. It's a boy.
Look at his boobies.
- We need to have a talk. - Gentlemen,
I'm afraid we are not making a very good first impression.
At least I'm talking. First new monster in years we are gonna get like a wolfman,
or mummy, just, you know somebody to play cards with.
Might we ask your name, Madam?
Susan.
No, no, no. We mean like your monster name.
Like what do people scream when they see you coming?
You know... like: " Look out. Here comes... "
Susan.
Really?
Suuuusan.
I just scared myself. That is scary.
Yes! Eat time.
That is repulsive.
Oh, I love slipper!
Oh please God, please tell me this isn't real.
Please tell me I just had a nervous breakdown at the wedding,
and now I'm at a mental hospital and I'm on medication,
and it's giving me hallucinations.
Don't scare InsectoSaur. He is gonna pee himself and then we all be in trouble.
Everyone run at the door? There's got to be a door here. Where is the door?
It's ok, buddy. Don't worry about it.
Who is a handsome bug? You like it when I rub your tummy?
Please, somebody. I don't belong here. Let me out.
Hey, hey. That is not a good idea.
Let me out!
Monsters. Get back in your cells.
Oh, thank goodness. A real person.
You are a real person, right?
Not one of those half-person half-machine... you know?
Whatever you call those things?
- A Cyborg? - Oh, no!
You are a cyborg?
Madam, I assure you, I am not a cyborg.
My name is General W.R.Monguer.
I'm in charge of this facility. Now follow me. It's time for your orientation.
In 1950 it was decided that Jane and Joe
public can not handle the truth about monsters,
and should focus in more important things like paying taxes.
So the goverment convinced the world Monsters were stuff of myth and legend,
and the locked them away in this here facility.
But I'm not a monster.
I'm just a regular person.
I'm not a danger to anyone or anything.
Don't let her get me!
Sorry.
- How long will I be here? - Indefinitely.
- Can I contact my parents? - No.
- Derek? - Negative
- Do they know where I am? - No, and they never will.
This place is X file.
Wrapped in a cover-up and deepfried in a paranoid conspiracy.
There will be zero contact with the outside world.
7, 8...
899, 1000...
I did ten sets.
Ah, Susan.
You wouldn't happen to have any uranium on you?
Just need a smidge.
Rescend Dr. Cockrach toybox privileges inmediately,
We just had the prison's phycologist redecorate your cell.
Try to keep you all calm.
But I don't want a poster.
I want a real kitty, hanging from a real tree.
I wanna go home.
Oh, come on, please don't cry. Makes my knees hurt.
Don't think of this as a prison.
Think of it as hotel you'll never leave because it's locked from the otherside.
Oh, and one other thing.
The goverment has changed your name to Ginormica.
Begin re-animation sequence.
Who dares to wake me?
Quantonium has been located on a distant planet in the omega quadrant.
The Omega quadrant?
Lame.
The trajectory of the Quantonium meteor has been traced to sector 72-4.
A planet locally known as Earth.
What a miserable looking mudball.
Send a robot probe.
Extract the Quantonium with extreme predujice.
I want it all!
Every last drop.
Yes, Gallahxar.
Nothing can stand in my way now.
Don't rush me, Katie. I'm just... not ready.
Oh, relax, Cuthbert. it's just like dancing.
Al Lee.
Katie,
I have a gymnastic's meet tomorrow, so maybe I...
Did you open the haf?
Thank goodness. It's the police.
We weren't doing anything officer.
Yeah. Nothing at all.
Why did I even let you talk me into this.
Maybe we should get out of here.
Or maybe we should go check it out.
Katie are you nuts?
Wait. Don't leave me alone.
My ankle.
I think it's broken.
Katie.
This is the worst date ever.
Katie I'm freaking.
It was first spotted at midnight last night,
by a couple in romantic embrace.
No one knows what it is or where it came from.
All branches of the military were inmediately move on.
- What is that? - OK
I have just received word that the president of the US has arrived,
and will attempt to make first contact.
I must approach it alone.
This is all about peaceful communication.
Yes, Sir Mr. President.
Perimeter stable. Got a vis on Papa Bear, all clear.
Commander. Do something violent.
You heard the president. Light them up.
Problem down here. Call in air support. Call in air support.
Call in... hmmm. Call in a full retreat.
Full retreat, full retreat. All troops.
Papa Bear is on the move.
No, wait
So that's how you wanna play it?
Eat lead alien.
- Evidently they eat lead. - Get him on the chopper.
I'm brave. I'm a brave president.
...own approved goverment.
This right here has only have about two weeks left.
If that think walks into a populated area there will be a major catastrophe.
We need our top scientific minds on this. Get India on the phone.
If we transport the US to a safer planet...
I say we give this alien a green card and make him proud to be an American.
Sir thy times like this when I stop and ask myself: What would Oprah do?
Hang it all. What's the point?
It's a disaster.
- Stop sir. - Don't do it Stop, no!
That button lauches all of our nuclear missiles.
Well then, which button gets me a latte?
Ahh... That would be the other one, Sir.
What idiot designed this thing?
You did, Sir.
Fair enough. Wilson, fire somebody.
Listen up!
I'm not going to go down in history as the president who was in his office
when the world came to an end. So somebody think of something and think of it fast.
That's a good Capu-ccio.
Mr. President.
Not only do I have an idea but I have a plan
Now conventional weapons have no effect on this thing,
and we all know nukes ain't an option.
- Sure they are. Press.. - No, no, no the button, wait!
I'm not gonna kid you, Mr. President. These are dark times.
The odds are against us.
We need a Hail Mary pass. We need raw power. We need...
Monsters.
Monsters! Of course...
It's so simple.
I... I'm not following you.
Over the last 50 years I have captured monsters on the
rampage and locked them up in a secret prison facility.
So secret that the mere mention of its name is a federal offense.
Is he referring to area fifty...
Mr. President, say hello to Insecta-Saur.
Miss Ronson please.
Nuclear radiation, turned him from a small grub,
into a 350 foot tall monster, that attacked Tokyo.
Here we have " The Missing Link ".
A 20.000 years old frozen fishman,
who was spot out by scientists.
He escaped... Went on a rampage in his old watering hall.
This handsome fellow is Dr. Cockroach Ph. D.
The most brilliant man in the world.
He invented a scientific machine that would give humans,
the cockroache's ability to survive.
Unfortunately there was a side effect.
Now, we call this thing BOB.
Could someone get her out of here?
Thank you.
A genetically altered tomato was combined with a chemically,
altered ranch-flavor dessert topping at a snack food plant.
The resulting goo gained consciousness and became an indistructible gelatinous mass.
And our latest addition, Ginormica.
General, continue.
Her entire body radiates with pure energy giving her enormous strength and size.
Sir, these monsters are our best and only chance to defeat that robot.
Don't we already have an Alien problem, General.
I don't think we need a monster problem too.
You got a better idea nerd?
Ok. Stay where you are.
General, I propose we go forward with your monsters vs aliens idea. Thank you.
Go fish.
Do... you... have... any...
three's?
Yes, I do. How are you doing this? You are the luckiest guy I know.
Luck ain't got nothing to do with it.
What the...? Hey.
They called me crazy,
but I'll show them. I'll show them all.
Dr, I'd prefer you didn't do your mad scientist,
laugh while I'm hooked up to this machine.
You're right Insecto.
You've been letting that crack experiment on you for over a month.
I'm not a crack. I'm a mad scientist.
There's a difference.
Guys. What choice do I have?
If he can make me normal or even 6'8", I can get out of here.
Get back to the life, I'm supposed to have.
- I mean, I should be... - Let me guess: Fresno?
Well, Fresno is just a steppin stone.
Next stop: Milwaukee, and then New York and then someday hopefully...
Yeah, we know: Paris.
Throw the switch, Dr. But don't do the laugh.
Now, you'll feel a slight pinch in the brain.
Sorry.
Susan! Yuuhuu!
Am I small again?
I'm afraid not my dear.
In fact,
You may actually have grown a couple of feet.
It's ok, Doc. We'll try again tomorrow.
You really don't get it. Do you?
No monster has ever gotten out of here.
That's not true. The invisible man did.
No he didn't. We just told you that so you wouldn't get upset.
He died of a heart attack 25 years ago.
Nooo!
Yeah.
In that very chair.
He still there?
You see what I'm saying? Nobody is leaving, nobody is ever getting out.
Good news, monsters. You are getting out.
Until today.
So let me get this straigh Monguer.
You want us to fight an alien robot,
And in exchange, the president of the US has authorized me to grant you your freedom.
Ah! I can't believe it!
Soon I'll be back in Derek's arms or him in mine.
I can't wait for Spring Break back at Cocoa Beach just...
freaking everybody out.
And I'll go back to my lab and finally finish my experiments.
No, no. That's me, Bob.
Then I'll be a... really giant lady.
That's Susan, Bob.
Fine, then I'll go back to Modesto and be with Derek.
Yeay... that is still Susan, Bob.
I think I at least deserve a chance to be with Derek.
All right. Let's go.
Everybody move in an orderly fashion. This is an emergency.
We are evacuating the city. Exact change is appreciated, but not necessary.
Let's move out!
This is San Francisco! This ins't far from my home.
Feel the wind on your antennas. Isn't this wonderful?
I haven't been outside in 50 years. It's amazing out here.
It's a little hotter than I remember. Has the Earth gotten warmer?
That'd be great to know that, it'd be a very convinient truth.
Now, that'a a robot!
It's huge.
Try not to damage it too much, Monsters. I may want to bring it back to the farm.
No, no, wait. You didn't say anything about it being huge.
Wait. No, don't leave.
I think he sees us.
Hello, hey! How are you doing?
Welcome. We are here to destroy you.
I can't fight that thing. I can't even...
I... I'm hyperventilating.
Does anybody have a giant paper bag?
Relax.
Old Link got this under control.
Hide in the city Susan, you'll be safe there.
But stay away from the Tenderloin. Gets a little daze.
Finally, some action. I'm gonna turn that oversized tin can into a...
...really dented oversize tin can.
OK. Does anybody have a 20 on Insect-a-Saur's?
Wow, would you look at the size of that?
I got it, you guys I got...
Don't worry, I won't let go. I'm wearing it down...
He's slowing down.
Get to the city, Link. I'll catch up with you as soon as I can.
Or maybe... You'll have to catch up with me.
No! No!
OK, ok I got this.
Yeap. That hurt.
Get in. I have a plan.
Hot dogs!
All right, Link. I'm going to pull up alongside it. You get
up in there, get into its central processing unit and...
Hey, guys. Catch me!
Let's go, let's go, keep it moving.
Hey, no honking.
Excuse me, moving out.
on your right... no control.
Oh, no.
OK. It's gonna be OK.
Look, I'm gonna get you out of there. Hold on a second.
You have to get off the bridge before...
Help!
No, no, no!
Get away from me!
Coming through. Watch it.
Hey, furrball. Where've you been?
Yeah, I know. Papa is a little out of shape.
Excuse me, he is trying to kill me. Why is he doing that, why...?
Wow.
Wow! You are doing great!
I'm doing everything!
Not for long. Come on, you guys. Let's take this thing down.
A deflector shield. Typical.
You can't crush a cockroach.
Right, right, right. Here we go.
Insect-a-Saurus.
- BOB! - What?
Help me!
Sorry, I was just staring at this bird over there.
We have to get these people off the bridge.
Got it.
No, Bob. Move the conveyors.
Oh, yes, you're right. My bad
Go, go go, go.
Link!
Oh, I don't feel good.
Ok. Susan, you can do this.
All right. Let's take this thing down.
Retreival has failed.
Don't get upset. It happens to everyone.
That lower life form. Thinks she can steal my Quantonium?
Send another probe at once!
Quantonium can not be retrieved via robot.
Carbon-based life form, locally known as Susan is now too strong.
Oh, you think because you are all big and strong...
...and you can destroy my robot probe that you're gonna send me running and hiding?
My days of running and hiding are over.
Computer, set the course to Earth. I will retrieve the Quantonium myself.
Even if I need to rip it out of her body one cell at a time.
Be careful. It's hot.
3 weeks ago, if you would've asked me to defeat
a giant alien robot, I would've said: No, can't do.
But I did it! Me! I'm so buzzing. I mean, did you see how strong I was?
There probably isn't a jar in this world I can't open.
You were possitively heroic my Dear.
I specially loved how you saved all those people on the bridge.
It was a nice touch. Wasn't she amazing, Link?
Yeah, she was great. Really cool. Loved it.
Poor Link. After all that tough talk you were out a monster by a girl.
No wonder why you are drepressed.
Hey, I'm not depressed. I'm tired.
Why are you tired? You didn't do anything.
Well, I haven't been sleeping well, alright? I get sleepne-apness.
Apne... apnea... Whatever. It's not fun.
So Link is a little rusty. I mean, sleep deprived.
You'll be back to your old self in no time. And so will I.
What happened to the "There isn't a jar in the world I can't open" stuff?
Wait. Did you find a jar you can't open? What was in it?
Was it pickles in it? Where's the gigant jar of pickles?
What my associate is trying to say is that
we all think the new Susan is the cat's me-wow.
I'm sorry.
Thanks you guys. That is so sweet.
But I have a normal life waiting for me. You know?
So tell me exactly how this normal life thing works with you being giant and all.
I'm not gonna be a giant forever.
Derek won't rest, until we find a cure for my...
...condition. We're a team.
We can all do with a Derek. Perhaps some day we can make his acquaintance.
Really?
You guys want meet Derek?
First stop: Modesto.
Ginormica. I called your family to let them know you coming home.
Now I also called the Modesto PD, told them not to shoot at you.
Thanks, General.
Ok, remember. These people aren't used to seeing anything like...
You, or you... or you...
So just be... you know, cool. Just be, you know? Follow my lead.
Stop. That was an accident! Don't destroy anything.
Susan?
Susie?
Mom? Daddy?
Did they experiment on you?
No, mom. I'm fine.
It's ok. They are with me.
These are my new friends.
Oh, Derek. I missed you so much.
Think of that. We'd be together again.
Just let hope i will not go again to prison. I love you. I love this man.
No, BOB. That's my mother.
You're sofocating her!
Honey. Are you allright?
I taste ham.
Sorry, mom. He is just a hugger.
Where's Derek?
He is at work, swetie.
You know, how he is about his career.
Well, we are not gonna celebrate without him.
Susan. What do I do with all your little friends?
Just put out some snacks. They'll eat anything.
Oh, ambrosia!
How is it going?
Impressive girlfriend.
Way to cut up XXX Insecto.
Who wants to go for a swimm with The Link?
Hi, I'm Benzoate Ostylezene Bicarbonate.
Or you can call me BOB. Whichever is easier.
Do I come on too strong? I'm sorry, I'm a little rusty.
I've been in prison my whole life. Why I mentioned prison?
Oh, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just gonna go.
Ah, I feel so stupid.
Everyone just stay calm. Whatever you do, do not provoke them.
Anyone cares for atomic gin fizz? It's got quite a...
Kick.
Clorine, clorine. Clorine in my eyes.
Everyone, run for your lives!
What are they running away from?
...that's hilarious, Jim.
That's exactly the kind down home country humor I'm gonna miss when I'm in Fresno.
This is Derek Dietl. Signing off for the very last time.
Good night... Modesto!
Channel 172
And... Cut!
Did you like that sign off? Just made it up.
~ N3krA ~ ~ 100% CANiNDiAN VaGaNzA ~ www.subs4free.com
Oh, my goodness!
Wait, wait, wa... it!
Oh, Derek!
You wouldn't believe my last 3 weeks. Just wouldn't believe it.
Thinking about you was the only thing that kept me sane.
Can't breath!
Oh, my gosh. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry
Oh my god. Is that better?
OK. OK.
I'm just still can of getting used to my new strength.
Wow, you really are big.
Yeah, but I'm still me. I'm still the same girl you fell in love with.
Except you... Did just destroyed the Golden Gate bridge.
Well, that was the only way I was gonna stop that giant robot.
Did you ever think I could do something like that?
No, I didn't.
I can honestly say that it never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever occurred to me.
I know this is a little weird...
Ok, it's a lot weird. But we'll figure it out.
I know that together we can find a way to get me back to normal.
Susan, try to look at this from my perspective.
I have an audience that depends on me for news,
weather, sports and heartwarming fluff pieces.
So you expect me to put all that on hold while
you try to undo this thing that happened to you?
That I had absolutely nothing to do with?
Yes.
That's exactly what I expect.
What about the life that we always talked about? Don't you still want that?
Of course. I just...
Don't see how I can have that with your.
Derek please...
Don't do this.
You have to face facts Susan.
And don't crush me for saying this, but I'm not looking to get
married and spend the rest of my life in someone else's shadow.
And you're casting a pretty big shadow.
I'm sorry.
It's over.
Good luck Susan.
Leaving Modesto Come Again
Wow, what a shindig!
Your parents really know how to throw it down.
That was a... great party. One of the best I've been to, since I got out of prison.
I must have been at a different party,
cause that's not how I interpreted it at all.
I don't think your parents liked me,
and I think that Jello gave me a fake phone number.
Well, at least the garbage was free and...
Who are we kidding?
We could save every city on the planet and they'd
still treat us the same way they've always treated us.
Like monsters.
Right, monsters.
Anyway. How... How is Derek?
Derek... is a selfish jerk.
- No! - Yes!
All that talk about "us",
I'm so proud of "us". "Us just got a job in Fresno.
It was no "us". It was only Derek.
Why did I have to get hit by a meteor to see that?
Idiot!
Why did I ever think life with Derek would be so great anyway.
I mean, look at all the stuff I've done without him.
Fighting an alien robot? That was me, not him.
And that was amazing.
Meeting you guys. Amazing.
Dr. Cockroach. You can crawl up walls and...
build a supercomputer out of a pizza box, two cans of hair spray and..
And a paper clip.
Amazing!
And you, you hardly need an introduction. You are the Missing Link!
You personally carried 250 coeds off Cocoa Beach and
still have the strength to fight the national guard.
And the Coast Guard, and also the Life Guard.
Amazing.
Bob, who else could fall from unimaginable heights and end up without a single scratch?
Link?
You!
Amazing!
Point Insecto. Susan, don't shortchange yourself.
Oh, I'm not gonna shortchange myself... ever again.
Susan!
Way to go Insecto!
Insecto look out!
Insect-a-Saurus. Nooo!
It's gonna be alright. Look at me.
Don't you close those eyes.
Don't you dare close those eyes.
You can't...
Mom?
You must be terrified.
You wake up in a strange place, wearing strange clothes.
Imprisioned by a strange being, floating on a strange hovering device.
Strange. Isn't it?
Hardly,
it's not the first time.
Wow. You really get around.
To the extraction chamber.
Look, what is that you want from me?
You have stolen what is rightfully mine.
I didn't steal anything from you.
Your enormous grotesque body, contains Quantonium.
The most powerful substance in the universe.
Did you really think you could keep it from me?
That's, what this is all about? You destroyed
San Francisco. You terrified millions of people...
You killed my friend, just to get to me?
Silence.
Your voice is grinding on my ear nobs.
It's a shame you won't be around to see what the power of Quantonium can do,
in the tentacles of someone who knows how to use it.
I know how to use it. Just...
Don't bother. That force field is impenetrable...
What the flagnog!
Ha! That should stop your puny...
Computer. Close door hangar 2.
Close door hangar 3.
Close the 4.
Close them all!
Computer. Begin extraction.
Finally, I can rebuild my civilization on a new planet.
Any thoughts on where I should set up shop?
Your planet, perhaps?
You keep your slimy tentacles off my planet.
If you wanted to stop me, you should've done it when you possessed the Quantonium.
Now you are nothing.
There innocent people down there, who didn't do anything.
There were innocent people on my home planet, before it was destroyed.
Look, I'm sorry your planet was destroyed.
Oh, don't be. I'm the one who destroyed it.
Confused?
After I reveal my tale to you, everything will become crystal clear.
Computer... initialize cloning machine.
Yes Gallahxar
Many zentons ago, when I was but a squid
I found out my parents were...
No child should ever have to endure that.
So I went on the road, with a giant...
And soon thereafter was married.
Things were going well, until she wanted to...
and then I was all: "no way" and she was all: "yes way" and I was like...
But I've told you too much already.
Let the birth of my new planet now called,
Gallahxar's Planet begin!
Once again, an UFO has landed in America.
The only country UFOs ever seem to land in.
Excuse me... What's that handsome? Okey-dokey.
We now take you live to a transmission from the alien's spacecraft.
Humans of Earth
I have come in peace. You need not fear me.
I mean you no harm.
However, it's important to note most of you will not survive the next 24 hours.
Though those of you who do survive, will be in slave and experimented.
You shouldn't take any of this personally, it's just business.
So, just to recap:
I come in peace. I mean you no harm and you all will die.
Gallahxar's out.
Ok. Boys, set the terror level at code brown cause I need to change my pants.
What are we gonna do now Doc?
I don't know.
I'll tell you what we are gonna do.
We are not gonna let Insecto die in vain.
We are gonna get up there, find Susan and we're gonna take that alien down.
Alright gentlemen. You got enough juice in those
jetpacks to get up there, but not enough to make it home.
I'll come get ya if I can. If I don't, it means I'm death.
Or late.
I've been your guardian for close to 50 years.
That's no longer the case.
For what it's worth.
That's rude. What do we do?
No, Bob, that's not rude. That's a sign of respect.
General, it's targeting us.
That's the idea, Lieutenant. Hold your course.
Steady, steady.
Hard right, hard right. Hard right!
Can't shake it. I can't shake it.
Hang on to your socks. We are going for a ride.
That's why I always wear a parachute, Lieutenant.
You can let go of me now Lieutenant.
- Who are you signaling? Here. - Hey, zip it.
Hail, Gallahxar.
No, no, not all of you. You, there.
How do I do this?
Three back. No, no, no. That guy, next to you.
The one I'm pointing at.
You the one... You clon. Yes, good.
Take the prisoner to the incinerator.
She is useless to us now.
- Hail, Gallahxar. - Hail me.
Ginormica ain't so...
Ginormic any more.
How are we supposed to get to her? There's too many of them.
It's impossible.
I may not have a brain, gentlemen. But I have an idea.
This is not gonna work.
Halt!
I...
Gallahxar, command you to hand over the prisoner this instant.
Clearly you are defective beyond repair.
Guards, take this defective clon to the incinerator.
Well, what are you waiting for? You and you!
What, seriously?
Yes. Take the prisoner and the defective clon to the incinerator.
Ah, of course, Sir.
And here's the security pass, just in case.
- Would you like a gun? - Yes I would.
Hey, guys, look.
I can't believe you guys came to save me. Thank you.
Don't mention it. We monsters got to stick together.
But I'm not a monster anymore. I'm just... me.
My dear, no matter what your size, you'll always be...
Nothing, but a filthy carbon based lifeform.
Hail, Gallahxar.
These disguises are the bomb!
That's it. Follow me.
The only way to save the... - Hail Gallaxhar. - Hail Gallahxar.
The only way to save... - Hail Gallaxhar. - Hail Gallahxar.
The only way to save the earth, is to blow up this ship before the invasion.
Hail Gallaxhar.
Hail Gallahxar. Before the invasion starts.
- So, how are we gonna do this? - We need to find the main power core.
Excuse me, could you direct usr to the main power core?
Gladly, it's right there. Above the extraction chamber.
Thank you very much. Hail Gallaxhar
- Watch out! - Wow, look out brainless.
Give me that thing.
Weapon like this, needs to be in the hands of somebody responsable.
What?
Hail, Galaxar?
- Monsters - Monsters.
Monsters?
Attention. All aliens, destroy all monsters.
You want some of this?
You wanna hurt my friend. You'll have to go through me.
Oh, yeah.
Looks like we made it.
- OMG. - Good morning, intruder.
You'll never figure out my color code.
A hexadecimal colorcode system. This won't be, but a moment.
Red, green, blue, yellow, orange, baby blue, purple, pink, brown, mocca, avocado...
Doc, come on! Dance.
Your bustied tired dance moves are no match for my security protocols.
We can't hold them off much longer.
One thing you don't know about me, my dear.
My... Ph. D... is in... dance.
Security protocol breached
Ship has been set to self-destruct
Total annihilation in T minus 6 minutes
- What? Launch the invasion then. - Invasion no longer possible.
Oh, Space? Divert the Quantonium to the bridge and prepare my escape capsule.
Look at that. They're all running scared. Monsters win.
I don't think that's why they're running.
Ship will self desturct in T minus 5 minutes
Hail Gallahxar.
We are not gonna make it.
Hang on.
That's no use. It won't budge.
If I was still Ginormica, I could do this.
Susan. Get out of here while you still got the chance.
No, don't say that. I'm not leaving you guys.
Yes you are. Wonder if with Monguer. He is outside the ship, waiting for you.
Go, while there's still time.
Ship will self destruct in T minus 4 minutes
Don't you worry about us, Susan. You finally have the chance to get your old life back.
I don't want my old life back.
They think they stopped me? They stopped nothing!
Female carbon based lifeform or "Susan" not contained
Attention robot probes. Crash the earthling.
Robot bay has been destroyed
Fire phaseoid's cannon.
Are you crazy? You could've killed me!
Then we understand each other.
Now, open the doors and let my friends go.
Or what?
You don't actually think you are a match for me, do you?
Quantonium has been successfully diverted to bridge
Escape capsule, ready for transport
Like I told you before. You should've defeated me when you had the Quantonium.
Have fun exploding.
Now, open the doors!
Even if I wanted to I couldn't.
That's what happens when you set the ship to self-destruct.
Now we're all gonna die.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
Susan...
I wouldn't be so sure.
And the name is Ginormica.
Annihilation in T minus 1 minute
- It's been an honor knowing you, Doc. - The feeling is mutual, my friend.
I'll see you guys tomorrow. For lunch.
- That's right, Bob. - There'll be candy, cake, balloons.
Cake and balloons for lunch?
It's got to be the best day ever. I love you guys.
Total annihilation in T minus 30 seconds
Where's Monguer?
He's supposed to be here.
He said the only reason he wouldn't be here is if he was dead.
Or late.
Insect-a-Saurus. You're alive!
And you're a butterfly.
8, 7, 6, 5, 4
- 3, 2, 1 - Come on, come on.
Hmm, nothing happened. Maybe my count...
Oh, great.
Oh, boy!
Susie?
- Daddy! - Oh, Susan.
Ever since you were a baby I knew that some day,
you would, you know, save the Earth from an invasion from outer space.
Thank you, but it wasn't just me, mom.
Excuse me. Hello. Coming through. How are you?
Susan!
Derek?
Baby, I thought long and hard about what happened between us.
And I want you to know, I forgive you.
You forgive me?
Of course. It wasn't your fault you got hit by a
meteor and ruined everything. And you know what?
I say maybe you didn't ruin everything.
I just got a call from New York. They offered me network.
All I have to do is get an exclusive interview from you.
Really?
Yeah, I get my dream job and you get your dream guy.
It's a win-win for team Dietl.
Derek, that's amazing.
Is the camera rolling?
Absolutely...
Good. Because I wouldn't want your fans out there to miss this.
This is Susan Murhpy saying...
Goood byeee Derek!
Bob, could you...?
Derek, you are a selfish jerk. And guess what?
I've met someone else. She's lime green.
She has 14 little chunks of pineapple inside of her.
And she is everything, I deserve in life.
I'm happy now, Derek, without you. It's over.
Monsters!
I'm so proud of you I could cry, if I hadn't lost my tear in the war.
But not crying, will have to wait. The world needs you again.
What is it, General?
Seems a snail fell into a French nuclear reactorl
As we speak, Scargetua is slowly making its way to Paris.
Well, I've always wanted to go to Paris.
Now, who's with me?
What do you say Butter-Fly-Sauros?
We're in.
- I'm in! - Count me in, too.
Aurvoir, sweetie. Have a safe flight.
Yeah. And hang on.
Goodbye, Derek. Good luck getting over me.
Ahh, Bob. It's me, he's never gonna get over.
Wait, wait, wait. You were dating Derek too?
That two-timing jerk!